Dear You,
You will probably never read this, but that's okay; it isn't really for you anyway.
I'm writing this to thank you. I know; a little over a month ago, I would never have dreamed I'd utter those words, let alone mean them...yet here I am.
A little over a month ago, you broke my heart. No, you shattered it. It was an ache and devastation I had never known, and never knew I could (or would) experience. For years, you had promised to always be there; you would never leave me; you would love me forever. So, on that day when my worst fears [at the time] came to fruition, I felt helpless and lost. I cried, I begged, I pleaded, I asked you why, I told you you were wrong.
The incredible, mind-blowing, absolute truth of it is...you weren't wrong. You were completely right. You were right in saying we weren't meant for each other--the immediate relief and peace I felt when we were officially over was the first indicator. Was I devastated? Yes. Heartbroken? Absolutely. But at the very core of what I was dealing with was the "peace that surpasses all understanding" (Philippians 4:7).
I won't lie; the few weeks that followed were not easy. I cried more than I ever had before. I mourned you and our relationship and the future I had built up for us in my mind...and then one day, I woke up, and I was okay. I was okay with not being your future wife. I was okay with no longer having you in my life. I was okay with all those years simply being memories and not the foundation for the life together I had originally thought we would have. One day, all of the pain and heartache just seemed to melt away, leaving me with one overwhelming thought: everything is going to be okay. "And we know that all that happens to us is working for our good if we love God and are fitting into his plans," (Romans 8:28 TLB).
I am not on the path I thought I would be on, but I'm exactly where God wants me to be. He not only thought I would be here, He knew I would be--in fact, He planned it this way. And you know what makes this even better? I'm so much happier than I was. I have more joy in my life than I thought possible, and through a seemingly tragic situation (at the time), the Lord is more real to me than ever before. The anxiety I dealt with nearly every day is gone, and my heart is on the mend. It would be foolish to say I am completely healed, because you certainly did quite a bit of damage, but I definitely am not pining after you any longer. By the grace of God, I no longer miss you, nor do I have any lingering questions of "what if" or "why". Now that I know what a relationship is supposed to feel like, I have learned to appreciate the lessons you taught me, whether intentional or not. While I never expected to be in a relationship so soon after our breakup, I wholeheartedly believe God's hand orchestrated the way he and I came together. I don't hold the future, nor do I pretend to know how the future will end up, but I do know the One who controls every facet of my journey on this earth, and I also have a whole lot of hope in the outcome.
The truth is, when you broke up with me, you did me the biggest favor you ever could have done. I didn't see it then, but I surely do now. Though I would never condone the way you ended our relationship, I know you did exactly what God intended.
So, thank you. Thank you for teaching me some extremely valuable lessons over the years; what to do and what not to do in a relationship. Thank you for showing me my strength and versatility in ways I wouldn't have known possible otherwise. Thank you for the good times; we were better friends than we were in a relationship, and I sort of wish I had seen that sooner, though like I said--the experience taught me more than I could ever tell you. Thank you, also, for the bad times, which unfortunately we had much more of--without the challenges, we would never learn to appreciate the good that was in store for our lives, albeit separately instead of together. Thank you for listening to God's voice and ending things when you did, for I wouldn't know the absolute joy I now possess without first facing that loss. Thank you for breaking my heart. As strange as it sounds, that was the most invaluable lesson you ever taught me. I needed that broken heart to turn my world upside down so I could find it righted safely in the arms of Christ.
I wish you nothing but the best. I hold no grudge against you, nor does it hurt as much to think of how things ended between us. If someday we run into each other, I hope to be able to look you in the eye, smile, and tell you it was good to see you. I hope you find the joy I know you desire, and I hope you are able to break free from the bonds that have held you back thus far. I no longer know you, sometimes I wonder if I ever really knew you at all, but I am so thankful that I knew the you I thought I did. Thank you for being an incredibly important part of my life, even though you weren't a part of the ending I had originally imagined. I'm so thankful to be on this new journey in my life, and I'm thankful to have the man by my side that God placed with me. I have hope, but if my relationship with you taught me anything, it's to think clearly and listen to God's voice over what I think I want at the time...but I'm not afraid. Now I know for a fact I can overcome anything with God's help. Thank you. I wouldn't have known that without you.
Dear You, I wish you joy and happiness, and above all, I wish you the peace and grace of Christ. Seek Him. Love Him. Trust Him. I pray for you often, and I hope you live a life with minimal regrets. God bless you.
"The Lord is near the brokenhearted; He saves those crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18 HCSB)
"May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace." (Numbers 6:24-26 NLT)
"Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God." (Philippians 1:3 NLT)
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